WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THIS WAS YOUR LAST LIFE?

We live as though we are not only promised tomorrow, but promised twenty more years on this earth. What if we lived our lives as though this was our last life?

Stream of conscious coming so buckle up:

I was reading an article recently, I read a quote wrong, and it changed my perspective. I read “What would you do if this was your last life?” and I stopped reading the rest. That one misread quote really reminded me that I don’t think about it often enough.

We live as though we are not only promised tomorrow, but promised twenty more years on this earth. What if we lived our lives as though this was our last life?

This questions isn’t meat as a yolo question but a true question that made me stop and take stock of where my life was. What do you actually remember from the past month? There are probably two or three things that stick out in your mind, but the mind is such a funny thing in that we forget. Our mind chooses to remember what we teach it is of value. It will keep the feelings and focus because it has been trained to.

If we tell it that wall street and all of the happenings there are the most important thing to remember, it will. Likewise, if we train our minds to remember people as what is most important the mind, as a muscle, will eventually learn how to keep that part as one of the main focuses.

Someone said to me recently that they appreciated knowing that they were a small part in history and that eventually everyone would forget about them when they were gone. Heartbreaking right? I choose to see it a different way. I am here on this earth for whatever time I am gifted. In that time I want to make sure my focus is on what matters. What matters to me is two fold: Jesus and people.

I am a curator of things, but if it all burnt down what really matters? What do I hold in more high esteem? We tend to only think of these type of questions when tragedy hits, or is looming. Why not carry that thought process throughout life and not feel like it was wasted at all? When people have a bad diagnosis, or see a tragedy they think about what their life has been and where they want it to go from there.

Take a moment to do that now, without having it brought on by tragedy. What a wonderful gift that is. Learn from those moments you know you’re making an impact. Don’t wait to focus on them until later.

Today is the only day you’re promised, and for some not even that. Be grateful for your health, and your loved ones, for your home, or pet, or child, or for getting out of that bad situation. Remember how strong you are and how much potential you have.

Tap into that potential, because no matter how hard someone tries they can not hold you back unless you allow them to have that power over you. You are powerful! You have a purpose! Don’t forget that!

FURTHER READING:

SELF CARE: LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT

SIMPLE WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MINDSET

HOW TO RELAX MENTALLY

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Things I Wish I Knew In College

College can be hard, but it can also be a wonderful time in your life. Looking back, I wish I had these tips and view points when I started.

In college there were moments when I really wish someone just slightly older was there to help. If you're in that position right now, this is for you. Here are a few things I wish I had known when I was in college.

BALANCE IS IMPORTANT

I know you're going through a lot right now but you can do this. I know you're juggling work, social life, and trying to get good grades. Remember to have balance, because there is going to be a time when you're a senior in college, and just trying to convince yourself up to go to class. There will also be a time later in life that you will be working more than you are now, so have fun on your days off. Don't skip classes all the time, but it's ok to skip every once in a while. (I won't tell if you wont)

Further Reading: 5 Things You Can Do TODAY To Take Better Care Of Yourself

DO FUN THINGS

If you’re working your way through college, it’s still important to make time for fun! When you have a break from school, don't work all break, or at least try not to. Take a road trip, go home and visit family, or hang out with your friends. I know that it's hard paying for college but don't spend every weekend of it working. Go to more events. Football games are so much fun! Also go to a basketball game or enjoy a local play!

DON’T GET THE MEAL PLAN

I know you think it's easier to just walk in and eat, but that food isn't well made. Cook something! Yes, you are going to burn a plate or set an oven mitten on fire, but it's ok! When you have a day a week where you and your friends all get together and cooking, cherish that. It's hard to believe, but it's going to go by fast.

You can also bring snacks with you on the bus if it’s a long ride. Don’t forget to eat, just don’t eat because it’s there. Also, don’t get a credit card because you’ll get a “free pizza” if you do. That pizza is not free, in fact it’s actually very expensive when you think about it.

STAY IN CONTACT WITH THOSE THAT MATTER TO YOU, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE STRESSED

Some of those friends will be back from high school, but some of those friends you're making right now. You're going to feel awkward and not want to say hi to the people sitting next to you in class, but it's fine, trust me. I can promise you those people are feeling just as awkward and would like someone to study with. You see them around campus all the time, and you have multiple classes with them, it's nice to have people in your major that you can be friends with.

DON’T THINK TOO FAR OUT

There is a pressure you're feeling to know what you want to do with the rest of your life, ignore that. Definitely pick a major, but you don't have to know from freshman year what you want to do. Between me and you, adults are basically older versions of you who are still learning what they want to do with their lives. It's ok!

BE SPONTANEOUS

Some of your best memories are going to be spur of the moment ideas. As long as those ideas don't hurt your or anyone else, go! Try line dancing, go on a road trip to NYC, purchase the super cheep 1,000 buttons you find at the thrift store.

Towards the later time in college I made friends with the guys across the way by me and my roommate throwing buttons off of our balcony at the neighbors balcony. College is a weird place, full of wonderful possibilities.

VISIT FAMILY AND FRIENDS

If you live in the same state as your family: the drive is really not that bad. Go visit your family and friends! I know if feels like such a long drive, but it's not! If you don't, when you do move farther you will wish that the drive was only 1.5 hours to get home. Make sure you eat your moms food when you go home, it's good!

EXPLORE, EVEN IF YOU’RE SCARED

Don't spend all of freshman year in your apartment watching a crime/ murder mystery show, that place has mold, and you will get mold poisoning! I really wish I had known that!

Especially if you’re new to the city, there are so many new exciting places to search. You can walk around your college lake, explore the library, see a show or go to the museum. Even in you’re feeling introverted there are places to explore and get to know your new home!

APPRECIATE YOUR CAR, IF YOU HAVE ONE

Your first car is not going to be the nicest of cars, but you will love the freedom it gives you. Some people will have really nice cars as their first car, but they also get in accidents and then their car is worth the same as yours.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO BE YOU

It's hard when there is pressure to be someone else to fit it, but that person is lame! Just be yourself, stick to what you believe in, and if you feel like maybe you shouldn't date that one guy, don't! Some people will like you and other won't. If you keep trying to be their friend, it's just wasting your time.

You can't make people like you, it isn't fun but it's true. A lot of the time, the reason has nothing to do with you. They're struggling through things too. Be there for them when you can, and understand that people are flawed.

If you are in college right now, remember just to do your best! If you want to know about my experience in college or need advice. Feel free to ask any questions! 

Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link on snacks. If you snag those snacks, I would receive a small amount of money. That money is at no additional cost to you, it would in fact help fund more snacks. So really it’s a win win for both of us!

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Give Yourself Resources

What are you spending your time on? What resources could you be keeping from yourself because of unnecessary mental thoughts.

My personality is one that when I see a forest I see all of the trees as a larger picture. I don't focus as much on each individual tree, but I see how they work together. There are also personalities that are very detail oriented. They look at a forest and see the trees individually. They see how each tree is unique. I love seeing how all of the trees work together to form the forest. 

On the flip side of my personality, there are also times when I had the capability to get so focused on what one tree is doing that I miss the beauty of the other trees. I'm not focused on the resources all of the other trees have, because I'm paying attention to the one tree. 

Let's bring that analogy into the day to day. In life there are moments when there is going to be one tree doing very well, or one tree really struggling. At work there are going to be times where one coworker or employee needs more attention than the others. There are going to be times when one friend is having an amazing week, and it’s important to be there to celebrate with that friend. How do you make sure that you are not letting all of your other work fall by the wayside while you’re taking time on one aspect of your life. What are some real ways you can balance work and life?

Let’s start by asking some questions.

WHAT DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME ON?

Time is a resources that no matter how hard we try we can’t get back. As humans we treat what we value as important very simply by what we spend our time on. If you take a real look throughout your week, what you're spending the majority of your time on is what you truly value. Since time is a resources that you can't get back, so what are you spending your time on?

WHAT IS YOUR “WHY”?

We have such an amazing way to rationalize our “why” without even realizing it. Let’s take a moment and step out of whatever whirlwind is happening and think about the why. Why are you not farther along in your school project? Why are you not farther along in your career? Why haven't you taken steps to move towards your dream job? There are going to be some answers to that why that are our of your control, and that’s completely valid! I’m not talking here about those reasons. I’m talking about the reasons that we control.

Are you not further along in your career because you’re still learning your current role to the best of your ability, or are you not further along in your career because you’re not stretching yourself with new projects that show your abilities?

REALIZE THERE IS A SEASON FOR EVERYTHING!

Now that you know what you’re spending your time on, and why you’re spending it there, let’s realize something else. I firmly believe there is a time for everything, and there are real reasons why things may not be happening right now. You could be making a sacrifice for your family which is the reason behind why your degree isn't complete yet. That is a very valid reason! But there are also moments when the reason why haven't finished that project is because we're nervous about what that means. What happens if I try for that job and fail? What happens if I step out on a limb and talk to that person, they could reject me. And in the most loving way I say to that "so what?"

One lesson I learned from my Grandfather who I love, but never had the opportunity to meet is this, take your dreams seriously. He wanted to be a lawyer. He took all of the classes and passed, the only test he had left was the bar exam and he would have been a lawyer, but he was afraid of what would happen if he failed that test, so he never took it. That hurts my soul. He was so smart and fully capable of passing that test, but he was afraid of what would happen if he failed, and probably also afraid of what would happen if he passed. He never even fully joined the game, he just kept practicing.

STOP PLAYING THE "WHAT IF" GAME

It’s important to know your “why”, but it’s useless to play the “what if” game. The reason “what if” is more often than not a useless game to play is because there isn’t a way to find the answer other than trying. IF that person doesn't want to talk to you in the coffee shop, that's fine, at least you tried! You could also have a wonderful conversation with that person. You don’t know unless you try. IF you start looking for a home to buy and you realize that your'e not ready for that yet because your'e not sure if you want to put down roots, that's fine! Now you know. You're taking steps to learn about yourself, that's a win! 

GIVE YOURSELF RESOURCES

Give yourself resources, don't wait for someone to hand them to you! Why is that? Because in life there are seasons when you have mentors who are there to guide and support, but there are also times in life when you need to figure it out! 

Working through things via books, and podcasts, and youtube videos are all as equally valuable depending on the season you’re in. You’re learning about yourself, and still growing in that knowledge. No one is perfect, but when you take a moment and step back and think....

...is there a area of your life that you're waiting to start or finish either because of fear or a lack of resources? Is there something you feel drawn to do, but have been to afraid to pursue? 

TAKE A STEP

If you're wanting to make either your or someone else's life better, why not just try! If you move and you hate it, you can always move back! If you try an intro class at school and realize that's not for you, you expanded your knowledge on a new subject and you can now try another subject of interest. 

TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT

It's ok to fail, it's not ok to do nothing. My pastor growing up used to say "If nothing changes, nothing changes"

Have you taken any steps recently to give yourself resources? Have you started reading into the subject you’re interested in? Have you tried to find a mentor or reached out to anyone already in that field? Have to taken a real look into your life and found your “why”?

CLICK HERE TO DOWN SOME QUESTIONS YOU CAN REFLECT ON!

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The Most Important Lessons I've learned Since I was 20!

Life lessons come in stages, here are the one I've learned since I was 20 that I've found most helpful!!

There are so many birthday posts about "Things I've learned in 20-something years". I am obsessed with those posts!! Recently, however, I've started thinking about things that I haven't learned from my entire time on earth, but what are things that I've learned in the past years between "YAY I'm 20!" and "I can't believe I'm almost 30!"

Not all of these are finalized, close the chapter, and turn the page, but they are lessons that I didn't start to learn until after I was 20. If you are in your 20s, or pre-20s, or post 20s we all have stages of life that we learn lessons in. I hope these help you start to learn these lessons, or solidify that "yes these are important lessons for me to learn."

1// While in College any scholarship money that you can get is so helpful!! I remember both sides of this coin. I remember spending hours looking for scholarships to get none of them, and feeling like I was wasting my time. I also remember seeing a scholarship at my school that I was pretty sure I qualified for, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to apply for! I'm so glad that I decided to apply because I did get that scholarship. If I hadn't applied I would have left about $3,000 on the table! Crazy! College is basically the only time in your life that people are like "You're young and want to learn, here's some free money to help because we know you're struggling." I wish there were more things like that after college like, "We see that you're paying for rent all by yourself and you want to travel, here is some money!" 

Paris - AVintageJoy

2// Trends in clothing change so much, purchase quality items as opposed to the ones that are cool right now. This is both about clothes and furniture. Remember when shirts that were high in the front and really long in the back were a thing?! Where are they all now! On the other hand, my combat boots that I found and love I still wear years and years later.

3// Travel during your summers in College! On a similar note to number one, there are not as many times in life after college that you get as long of a break as summer break in college is. Yes, I worked during the summer in college, but it's so much easier to say "I'm working a part time job, I can take 3 weeks off to go explore." as opposed to "I have a staff of 30, I would like to go travel for three weeks."

-Subnote: Have some of those trips be road trips in there with friends. It will be worth it! Trust me, and so much cheeper, because you're also still in college and have to check on finances so carefully.

4// Status/a title will not make you happy! We all fall into moments where we think "If only I had ____ I would be happy." But it really doesn't. Things and status will not bring fulfillment to your life, only God can do that. Trying to fill your life with things other than Jesus in the hopes of feeling fulfilled will just not work! That's one of the reasons why, when you do get that promotion or that item, the excitement of that fades and then you're looking for something else to feel fulfilled in a few days or weeks. Their beauty will always fade. I first hand know about this. For a few years I felt like I was chasing the "white rabbit" of being a manager, but once I got it I realized that it, just like everything else in life other than Jesus, does not fulfill!

5// The unique aspects of you that maybe you were made fun of as a kid, are the aspects of your personality that set you apart from others. On a physical/looks level one thing that I use to get made fun of as a kid that I felt hopeless about was my eyebrows. Back in my day (sarcasm on purpose), small skinny eyebrows were "in", I never had eyebrows like that. But now, being an adult and not having plucked to death my eyebrows, they are something that I get comments on. It's part of my face and something that I actually really like. Your beauty marks can lead to a career like Cindy Crawford. It's a big sentence to say but, be learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It's always something to keep learning but, just because one person looks at you funny, it doesn't matter!

6// Learn to share! This is a little more of a humorous lesson I've learned, but there are so many times that I use to go out to eat with friends that I would purchase all of this food and then leave half of it uneaten. Learn to share your fries with your friends. You'll save money and waste less. Also, make sure if you're going to get a medium or a large that you're hungry enough to eat/drink it! I was notoriously bad for getting the wrong size drink and wasting half of it. Not any more, I like to spend my money where it counts!! 

london subway - AVintageJoy

7// The world is so much bigger than you realize! No matter how "cultured" you are, the world is so much bigger than you can imagine! The more you travel and get to know people the more you realize how little you really know. Never stop learning and helping others. I pray that we do not get so comfortable in our little worlds that we have the naivety to think that everyone is as blessed as we are! Helping others is really the main message behind this lesson. 

8// Comparison is a thief of Joy. Get inspiration from people of course, learn from them, get inspired by what they're doing, but don't compare where they're at in life to where you're at. You are a different person, with different lessons to learn. Comparing and feeling behind will only lead you to feeling unsettled, not motivated.

9// Don't have a fear of investing in friendships or being yourself in a group of people. I'm definitely an extrovert, but there are times that in a large group of people where the girls are all talking about makeup or all playing with each other's hair, that I don't know what to do! I have a fear of talking about how I love the Star Wars movies because maybe the girls won't like me. But WHO CARES!! I'm looking for friends who appreciate who I am and I appreciate them for who they are. You don't have to love everything your friends do, but you do have to respect each other. And how can they respect that you really love this nerdy aspect of something if you never give them the chance to. Be your weird self! (they're nerdy about something too!)

College - AVintageJoy

10. It's ok to be Mulan. Let me explain!...When I grew up I always wanted to Belle and I still love Belle, but I'm much more of a Mulan in real life. I have goal after goal of reading books, and part of me is an introvert, but I'm much more likely to push boundaries of what a female "can and should" do. I feel you, don't message me about how powerful a woman Belle is, I know! That's why I love her too. But the "I'm just going to do this to fight for my family and so that my loved ones don't have to worry about this." Is much more my personality! I say that all to say, learn to see yourself in true eyes! Learn what your blindspots are and what your strengths are. We all have them, it's ok.

11. What God thinks of me is more important than what anyone else thinks. On that same note, if I truly want to fill fulfilled, I have to be following my God given calling, not worrying about what anyone else thinks. This one is the hardest for me to write, because I'll be working on this for years, and this is the one sometimes I feel the most out of line with. But, I remember the times in my 20's that I felt most alive, it was when I was more focused on what He thinks about me than worrying about what others think. 

This wonderful picture to the right is me from college, having a wonderful time learning how to solder. Yes, it's not the best picture, but I really love it because I was having so much fun! You can also definitely tell that a bunch of guys lived in this house from all of the lovely background accoutrements. 

There's one more lesson I've learned more about this year than ever before. But I feel like that one is a more detailed posts. So I'm going to write another post about that lesson. Read it here!

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You are the ONLY You that will Ever You!

Be Your Quirky Wonderful Self! - AVintageJoy

I recently read THIS POST by CupofJo and it really hit me. I love so many aspects of people and I really want to learn all that I can from other's experiences, but I truly believe the unique aspects of ourselves are the thing that makes us so unique. I know that sounds kinda like a "duh" statement, but remember when you were a kid? Remember all of those unique aspects of yourself being the thing that other kids tried to make you feel bad for?

I've been told things, even in my adult life like "you really shouldn't make so many jokes if you're running a meeting" **I made two jokes in an hour's time**. Those things, if we're not careful change the unique aspects about us that are the reason why we're where we are in the first place. 

Yes, we should always be maturing and growing as a person, but those special aspects of ourselves that others saw and loved, are also the aspects that others will see and want to change. 

I saw a poster that said "You can't make everyone happy, you're not coffee" Preach! I'm not here to try to appease everyone I come in contact with, there are going to be people that we just don't have to be best friends with, and that is ok! We're meant to love people to the best of our ability, but it is also a two way street. If you're going to be friends with someone they have to buy into that as well. 

It can be very easy to start to be someone else's version of you. Don't! Your loud laugh, or quirky jokes, or curly hair, are all meant to be that way on purpose. Be proud of your freckles, don't cover them up! Be yourself, don't spend your time trying to be "the cool kid." What does that even mean anyways, cool is defined by whatever the masses say is cool right now. Remember when Jocks, then Nerds, then Social Media Influencers became cool?

 It changes so much, just focus on being you! You're the best and only you that will ever you. Do yourself the justice of being that! 

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Five things you can do TODAY to take better care of Yourself

Hi my name is Joy and I'm very bad at taking care of myself! It's true! I have this habit of thinking everything will be fine, and all I need is a little sleep and I'll feel better either mentally or physically.

Hi my name is Joy and I'm very bad at taking care of myself! It's true! I have this habit of thinking everything will be fine, and all I need is a little sleep and I'll feel better either mentally or physically and sometimes that works and other times it doesn't. Through my many failed attempts at making myself feel better, I've learned ways and habits that really do help me take care of myself. 

I never want to get in the "I'll live forever so whatever" type of mentality because we're not promised forever. One out of one people will eventually die, so it's important that we keep that in mind no matter what age we are!! I believe that we're only given this one body, so I want to make sure that I'm taking good care of the resources I've been given, including myself. 

1// Take yourself off of social media. I saw this picture that I'm sure many of us have seen and it's so profound. It's the picture where there's one woman standing actually being in the moment and not trying to "get the shot." I love getting the shot! I'm all about that life, but I'm also about a balanced life. Take a few hours today and put away your phone! Be in the moment. 

2// Find a doctor in your area and make an appointment to go, or call your doctor and set up an appointment for this week. Don't neglect your health because you only have one body, take care of it!

3// Cook a meal, like a proper meal from scratch. Because of my work I tend to live in a very on-the-go food lifestyle, but it's important to take the time to cook a meal at home. It's so much better for your body to eat a home cooked meal! Throw a salad in there, trust me your body will thank you!

4// Read! While you're putting away your social media, pull out a book and stretch your mind. Learn new words from Jane Eyre or Shakespeare, heck he made up his own and now we use those! Get into a different world and allow your mind to set the scene.

5// Have a friend over. Step out of your comfort zone if you're an introvert, or if your an extrovert clean up your place and have a loved one over. Find that person who you don't have to be "on" when you see them, and hang out. We all know the people in our lives that it is so easy to spend time with. Take the time to have them over and, actively listen and get into their world. Interacting in person with people really does help your health. According to multiple studies it also decreases your stress levels, depression, and increases your ability to feel empathy for others. 

Bonus: Write down you're boundaries. If you've just worked a ten hour day and someone asks you if you want to go to dinner, but all you really want to do is go home and sit in silence, it's ok to say no thank you! You can exercise your boundary there and then the next time you will say yes if you feel that will help your day!

Another wonderful reason to  know your boundaries is that it's easy to get frustrated with people who you feel are stepping all over your boundaries, but it's not fair to them to say that if you never told them what those boundaries are. 

Moral of the story: Take a moment today to take a look into your own life and see what you can do to help your own self care.  

Find out more about the benefit of in-person interaction from this article from the nytimes! 

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Nine Ways to Have A Relaxing Weekend

Work and Life can be stressful. It's important that we also take time during the weekend to relax. Here's how...

Monday-Friday you get up, get your life together enough to make it to work on time. Work 8-10hrs, go home, do laundry, make food, try to relax, sleep and then wake up the next day and repeat. Now although not every week day looks like this, more of them do than we would like to admit. Monday-Friday or Wednesday-Tuesday, whatever your work week looks like it's so important to make sure you make time to relax. I like to call it a "Slow Saturday." 

A Slow Saturday doesn't mean that you're doing nothing on Saturday, but it does mean that you're being intentional with your Saturday. Here are a few ideas to make sure you're using your weekend to its greatest advantage.

1// Coffee!! Obviously this was going to be first! This can be what you make of it, whatever makes you feel more relaxed. Maybe you get up 10 minutes early and heat up water to make yourself a french press at home, or maybe you get up slightly early and go to your favorite coffee shop to enjoy your people watching for the day. 

2// Pick out your outfit the night before. This has drastically changed my morning during my work week, and it's just as important for my weekend. There is something stressful about having to get up and decide things right away. Set yourself up for success by picking out what you're going to wear and hang it up in the bathroom the night before.

3// Pamper yourself right away. We all have those face creams or face wash products that we love so much that we don't use them every day. (Please say I'm not alone in this!) On Saturday, break those out. Its such a small way to pamper yourself, but put on your favorite makeup for no major reason at all, just because you want to. 

4// Be a tourist in your city. Look up what's happening this weekend, or maybe visit a place you've already been to but love! I can't wait until its spring/summer in Denver. One of my favorite things to do in the summer is visit the Botanical Gardens. The $12-15 is so worth it for me to enjoy a day walking around in all the flowers. (They also have a brick oven pizza they make, yass)

5// Walk instead of Drive. I've lived in very walkable cities and ones that you really can't walk to anywhere in. Either way, drive if you have to to a more walkable area of your city and take a 20 minute walk during golden hour. Drive to the mountains, or the beach, or to your favorite neighborhood and just walk. You'll be amazed how much more creative and rested you'll feel. 

6// Don't let the weather get you down. If it's sunny it's so easy to have a "good day", but when it's gloomy we have a difficult time. Make a conscious effort to remember that this is your Slow Saturday and rain or shine it's going to be a good day!!

7// Plan something for the evening that you know will give you energy. If you're an extrovert maybe you plan a dinner with friends, or maybe if you're getting burt out by people you plan to go to the movies by yourself and take yourself on a date. 

8// Listen to your favorite five songs. A great way to make sure that your Slow Saturday sets you up for the week is to listen to your favorite songs. Let me explain. During those five songs, this is your moment to clean your home, or do the dishes, or separate your clothes for the laundry. During these five songs you can write down a meal prep list for the grocery store, or make your bed. Five songs, on average, is going to be about fifteen minutes. You'll be amazed what you accomplish in that short time. 

9// Give yourself a reward. That reward could be the movie you watched to be by yourself for a moment and relax, but that reward could also be a glass of wine. Make sure you earn the reward, but celebrate your accomplishments of the day. That accomplishment can even be not checking your emails, if you're a person who is constantly attached to their work phone. Its your Slow Saturday, don't check the phone unless you really have to!

Aren't Slow Saturdays the best! I love having the busy Saturday when you're excited and have a plan and are going on a trip, but isn't it also just so lovely to enjoy where you're at and breathe?!

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